What does? I think it is the essence of things that transcends their expression in our lives. True love lasts forever, but it shows up in tangible forms that have finite existence. The value of expressing love is it keeps it alive in us–we are filled with the essence of being when we feel love.
I’ve been spending the last six months or so thinking about my life, wondering what comes next, letting go of some old ideas, old ways of doing things–clearing the way for more. I’ve cleaned closets, cleaned up my office, cleaned up some loose ends with people. I’ve had some fun, had some sad days, realized a lot of things that I’m ready to talk about.
I’ve thought a lot about relationships, what they mean, how long they last, what it means when they don’t last. I’ve had many very important friends that I no longer see. Of those I wish I could see, I find myself reaching out from time to time–and sometimes we get together, but sometimes the geographic distance is too great, and sometimes we live near each other but the other kind of distance between us is too great.
When I realize that we’re not going to connect in the way I would like, I just send them love and light–sounds sort of funny writing it, but what I mean is that my feeling of connection continues, even when I don’t feel it reciprocated. That makes it feel more palatable somehow.
So that is one of the things that doesn’t last forever: the form of connection I have with others. The essence remains–I still feel love for and toward them–but the form of how we relate to each other didn’t last. The relationship changes because we change how we show up and it shifts the dynamic irrevocably.
I think this is about frequency resonation. Sometimes we are on the same frequency, sometimes not. If we look at our interactions like radio wave patterns then we can see that sometimes we just aren’t dialing in on the frequency that someone else is sending out–and vice versa! In the same vein, I think we cycle in and out of relationships and one of the hardest things to face is that the cycle may be over, even when we still care about someone.
I’ve helped a lot of people unravel themselves from entanglements. The way out is to love the experience, see what it gave to their life and feel blessed by it. That doesn’t sound too difficult, but it is sometimes a challenge to get enough distance from the emotional hold to see it clearly. What is clear to me, but hard for them to see, is that the thing most difficult to let go of is the dream of what it could have been, not the reality of what is.
As a dear friend of mine says, “My relationship is with Love itself. If someone chooses to participate in my relationship with love, I am grateful. If she chooses to leave, and not participate in my relationship with love, I am also grateful. Nothing stops me in my relationship with Love as it does not depend on the ‘other’.”